Top 10 ‘Mature Rated Games’ AT NUMBER 1 – Duke Nukem 3D

AT NUMBER ONE – DUKE NUKEM 3D

C’mon…you knew it had to be the Duke!

The Duke tops our chart, with big guns, big boobed strippers and kick ass one liners - Copyright 3D Realms

The Duke tops our chart with big guns, big boobed strippers and kick ass one liners - Copyright 3D Realms


We remember opening a certain PC magazine many years ago, which offered a demo disc of a new FPS game. The screenshots displayed gameplay showing what looked like pig demons, with huge fangs. The dude you were playing as, seemed to have a kick ass big gun, ideal for the job…so being the young and curious gamers that we were then…we decided to give it a try. We suddenly found ourselves all out of bubble gum, wanting to kick some serious ass and in search of tassel wearing, big boobed strippers…yeah…our parents didn’t see much of us that week…

It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum...but the Duke's all outta gum!

It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum...but the Duke's all outta gum! Oh and that explosion you can see in the background...that's the Dukes ship, that's just been shot down...so you can understand why he's so pissed - Copyright 3D Realms

Duke Nukem 3D begins with the Duke heading back from a previous mission. Before he’s able to land, he’s ship is shot down by those weird pig demon aliens. As you see your ship plummet to the ground, you start the game seeking revenge and wanting to kill every non-human you encounter.

As you progress, you suddenly realise that these aliens have completely overrun LA, killed pretty much every man, women and child, but for some unknown reason…are capturing and taking hostage, every gorgeous women in the city and are making them dance for cash! (try to look shocked and don’t smile).

The Duke takes vengance on these ugly pig aliens, by displaying some kick ass weponary and causing some red mist - Copyright 3D Realms

The Duke takes vengeance on these ugly pig aliens, by displaying some kick ass weaponry and causing some messy red mist - Copyright 3D Realms

As you progress further into the game, Duke comes across several women who seem to be cocooned in alien slime. They beg Duke to kill them and if Duke grants their wish, a hell load of aliens then ambush the Duke. But why would the aliens do this? Duke later finds out that these aliens are trying to hatch queen aliens, through these gorgeous ladies! The Duke can’t allow that…so all out war is declared between the entire alien race and a kick ass hero called Duke…come get some!

Hey, at least the alien pigs are making these hot ladies dance and show some, before they’re cocooned for hatching, right? This gives Duke some valuable time to check out the sweet views around LA…and there are quite a few that will bring a smile to your face.

Duke Nukem is on a rampage, but fighting trough adult cinemas and adult magazine stores, is just ace! - Copyright 3D Realms

Duke Nukem is on a rampage, but fighting trough adult cinemas and adult magazine stores, is just ace! - Copyright 3D Realms

Duke had the lot in terms of adult entertainment. Fighting through adult mag stores, where you could take a cheeky peek at an opened magazine. Shooting through adult cinemas, where you could trigger an adult movie and also checking out the adult cubicles, as well as laughing at the sexy, but funny movie posters, spread throughout the adult cinema. Duke Nukem was built for adults from the ground up and was the first and best adult themed FPS to ever hit the games industry.

The adult movie posters in Duke Nukem, were classic - Copyright 3D Realms

The adult movie posters in Duke Nukem, were classic - Copyright 3D Realms

The main event for us male gamers though, were the sexy strippers. If you came across a strip club, you could offer these lovely ladies some cash and they would take off their top an wobble their lovely lady lumps at you. What else could you want from Duke? Big ass guns, violent and gory alien deaths, adult cinemas, magazine stores and strip clubs, to help Duke along the way. 3D Realms really went all out for us gamers and we’re grateful…thanks 3D Realms (as we wipe the tears from our eyes).

The sexy strippers that helped make Duke Nukem. Wanna Dance? - Copyright 3D Realms

The sexy strippers that helped make Duke Nukem. Wanna Dance? - Copyright 3D Realms

Ah, we remember this...the most gorgeous lady in the game and SHE WON'T DANCE FOR US! DANCE PLEASE! SHAKE IT! C'MON LADY!

Ah, we remember this...the best looking lady in the game and SHE WON'T DANCE FOR US! DANCE PLEASE! SHAKE IT! C'MON LADY! - Copyright 3D Realms

Now there is something else we should talk about, if we’re on the subject of Duke Nukem. This particular subject has been in the gaming news for quite some time and the last we heard heard on it….well…it made us feel a bit empty inside.

Of course, we’re on about:

Duke Nukem Forever

Duke Nukem Forever

A little more than 12 years ago (a 3D FPS was announced in 1997), 3D Realms got our blood pumping, with awesome news on a modern remake of Duke Nukem. This promised a modern engine, cool looking and kick ass weapons and dazzling babes. 3D Realms then went on to release very tiny sneak peeks of the game here and there, with the odd E3 trailer. They never exposed any kind of plot, but just focused on some one liners and a few weapons.

Two years later, another trailer was released, but the engine had changed. A planned Quake engine had been scrapped and 3D Realms updated to an Unreal engine. While we all welcomed this, we couldn’t stop thinking of the budget that 3D Realms was burning through.

Duke Nukem Forever seemed to welcome the idea of casino's. It bleded well with the games adult theme - Copyright 3D Realms

Duke Nukem Forever seemed to welcome the idea of casino's. It blended well with the games adult theme - Copyright 3D Realms

Duke Nukem Forever on the Unreal Engine, created a much better night life. The weapons also looked mucg better and realistic

Duke Nukem Forever on the Unreal Engine, created a much better night life. The weapons also looked much better and far more realistic - Copyright 3D Realms

Of course, anyone saying that they weren’t looking forward to the lovely ladies, within a much better gaming engine…were lying! Here was a teasing shot, that gave us our first glimpse of what a modern stripper babe would look like, in the new world of Duke:

Duke Nukem Forever's new strippers...nice ass

Duke Nukem Forever's new strippers...nice ass - Copyright 3D Realms

According to the image above, the aliens in Duke Nukem Forever, seem to be much more forgiving with the males. The hillbilly in this shot, seems to be very much alive, so maybe Duke got to this particular city, before it was overrun this time…or maybe this old guy was just hiding in one of the strip club lockers?

Many more years passed and the gaming public were hungry for more of Duke. Just when everyone was awaiting the games release, 3D Realms announced that Duke Nukem Forever was suffering yet more problems and had to be re-designed from the ground up, yet again. To shut the public up, 3D Realms released a non-gameplay trailer, showing the duke working out in his gym…but something was wrong.

The new Duke Nukem

The new Duke Nukem - Copyright 3D Realms

At this stage, Duke Nukem Forever was making Daikatana seem like a short project. Shortly after releasing the new trailer, 3D Realms announced that their team had been up all night working on it. This sent bad vibes through the gaming community, as this put across that development on Duke Nukem Forever was painfully slow, or had even came to a grinding halt completely. If the games development had been going smoothly, the trailers would have been done and dusted long before the initial release…and not rushed at the very last minute.

Sadly, after 12 years of development…3D Realms had officially announced that not only had development on Duke Nukem Forever ceased, but the company had laid off most of it’s staff.

The development team who had been laid off at 3D Realms, weren’t going to simply walk away with their lips zipped up tight, so they began to post their current work on Duke Nukem Forever, on forums, you tube and other gaming sites. It displayed some pretty cool ideas for the game:

Duke Nukem Forever had some great ideas, like climbing onto the back of huge alien and ripping out his horns...awesome!

Duke Nukem Forever had some great ideas, like climbing onto the back of huge alien and ripping out his horns...awesome! - Copyright 3D Realms

Yeah, this surprized us too...Duke is rolling around in a monster truck! - Copyright 3D Realms

Yeah, this surprised us too...Duke is rolling around in a monster truck! 3D Realms may have wanted the new Duke to be much more 'free roam' play - Copyright 3D Realms

It was such a shame to finally see the development footage, after the announcement of cancellation and staff lay-offs. The footage (although shockingly early stage) still showed a lot of potential, with some fantastic ideas. Gradually being lowered underground via an elevator, to then give the finger to his enemies, as he descends, was just genius and captured the feel of Duke perfectly. Climbing on the back of a huge alien and ripping his horns off one by one, to then hurtle to the ground and worry purely about dusting himself down and checking his look, was another example of how they captured the Duke magnificently.

The sexy ladies of Duke Nukem Forever, also benefited from the new engine make over:

The Striper models from Duke Nukem Forever - Copyright 3D Realms

One of the Stripper character models, from Duke Nukem Forever. Well, 3D Realms had those in the bag at least, that's for sure - Copyright 3D Realms

GO EASY ON 3D REALMS

We know a lot of you may be upset and even angry over the development cycle of Duke Nukem Forever, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that 3D Realms never put the effort into the project. From what we’ve heard and read over the past 6 months, 3D Realms were having an incredibly hard time with IP rights, due to other greedy companies, trying to acquire full ownership of the Duke Nukem IP.

For all we know, 3D Realms may have had no choice but to postpone development, until legal issues were finalised. This would have meant that the company would have had to develop for other games or software, simply to get by. The are many games out there, that are developed by totally different companies, than what the game cover logos actually suggest, so this is a possibility. We just can’t believe that 3D Realms would sit on their hands for 12 years and watch their major IP…their baby…die a slow death.

All we can do now is to STOP pointing the finger at 3D Realms and encourage them to pick themselves up and finish the job. 3D Realms may even decide to sell the IP on, or to simply give development rights to another company, while maintaining the IP. Whatever happens, we hope it remains in good hands and gets a multi platform release (whether re-named or not).

We honestly can’t believe that a huge money maker like Duke Nukem, will simply be canned and forgotten. It’s worth to much to the industry and the gaming community (no matter how many people try to kid themselves, that they’ve given up on Duke).

Lets support 3D Realms and we’ll see Duke return with his sexy babes soon.

MAKE IT SEXIER

Whoever ends up having the rights to Duke, will have a big development on their hands, that’s for sure. You simply can’t take the ‘DOOM 3′ easy way out anymore, so simply re-building an engine and maintaining gameplay, won’t work. Keep the Dukes cool and bad language one liners, keep the dirty cinemas, magazine stores with open mags across the floor and shelves, the adult cubicles and of course…the strippers.

If you add these to some great ideas that encourage a constant change in the way the player thinks and plays (ass seen in the leaked dev video), you’ll have a great FPS on your hands. You can’t simply run and gun anymore, so Duke needs moves, gadgets and kick ass guns. Weapons make the FPS, so we wanna see some heavy duty killing machines!

GTA 4 pushed what could be done with the stripper idea, so build on that. See if you can push Duke’s strippers that bit more and focus on making them as realistic as possible and they’ll be perfect for a modern Duke game. Oh and of course, sexy secrets please…and a lot of em!

That’s the end of our countdown and we hope you enjoyed reading it. As always, we love to see your comments on these posts, so let us know what you think on any of the games in our countdown. We love our games and we love sex…so why not make a great combination of both gameplay and sex appeal eh?

Check back soon, as we’ll be topping up our adult movie reviews and bringing you our verdict on the very best and latest adult DVD’s.

Have a great evening and we wish you all a Happy New Year!

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